Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!

(I received this via email today)

READ THIS VERY SLOWLY... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained.

We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet.

We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

It's National Friendship and FAMILY WEEK Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.

To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.

'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'

Before & After

Ok... please indulge me a little more ranting about the whole Back-to-School thing. It's being mentioned this time only because of the sheer volume of paperwork that's involved and the toll it took on my desk. Now mind you, my desk was not a prize to start with.

I run several businesses from home so there are stacks of orders placed, orders pending, orders to be entered, plus one big TO-DO pile mostly of new products to follow up on...

I tend to be a team parent for one sport or another at any given time and there are files and folders for that...

And my personal bills used to sit neatly in a favorite Longaberger basket (because if they are nested in a lovely basket, the bill-paying experience won't be so ugly!) but they have somehow migrated to the "out-shelf" of my Canon printer...

And speaking of printers, I have 2... a Brother Laser for work reports, forms etc. and a Canon Photo Printer for, well, photos!

I have my all-important TV (wouldn't want to miss my ABC soaps while working!)... and my calculator and several shelving bin things, my electric stapler (would rather give up a kidney that do without that), my external back-up drive, my phone/answering machine, and a small plastic lime green crate of "crap" (misc. business cards, photos, old greeting cards, rebate coupons, an empty Starbucks gift card , web sites noted on a scrap of paper that I didn't want to loose track of, etc. etc.).

All these items are VITAL to the success of my business! [HA!]

Well toss on top of all that, about 100 pieces of paper (all colors) related to Scott and Chelsea's new year at school. Some needed to be signed. Some just kept for future reference. Some tossed. Some to be laminated (like the # to Chelsea's counselor and emails for her teachers!) and some I'm not exactly sure why I received them... something that the State of CA required we signed proving we got it. Give me a break! I reached my crap-limit (yes... I really do have one) and I got busy cleaning! I mean cleaning, dusting, monitor shining, file creating, folder swapping, cleaning!

Here's what the "Right side" of my desk looked like after being bombarded with about 10 tree's worth of paperwork from school:

"Right side" AFTER cleaning:

"Left side" BEFORE: (where the hell did that cowboy hat come from??)

"Left side" AFTER: (HUGE difference huh?)

I suppose I could look on the bright side... all those papers floating all over my desk FORCED me to dig until I found a wood surface again. I found all sorts of "treasures" such as a Birkenstock catalog I thought I had lost (LOVE my Birks!), a couple of NetFlix DVD's that I've had for probably 2 months, a water bill that was now over-due (oops... we're bathing in the pool for a couple days kids! Ha!), and the supply list for Scott's class... good thing my own office supply inventory is close to that of Staples! :-)

Now let's see how long I can keep it this way!

Back to School = Mommy needs a drink!

Scott is back in school... 4th grade. I had heard that his teacher this year was pretty strict but that wasn't a big concern. He could use some structure and motivation to stay on task (at home too for that matter!). He knew of her (we'll call her Mrs. L) and was really happy she was going to be his teacher. I kept HUSH about what I had heard... let's keep things positive and happy, right? Sneak-a-peek the day before school was pleasant. She seemed really nice, organized, and already had nice things to say about Scott.

A week later... was BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHT!

Parents funneled into the classroom, dreading having to squeeze into those little chairs. There's always those stragglers... whose kids also seem to be tardy for class on a regular basis. Whats that saying about the acorn? LOL Most of the kids have been together on "Blue Track" since Kindergarten so we all know each other pretty well. There's the normal gossip/small talk going on. We sign in and are told to find our child's desk and have a seat. Promptly at 6:30 Mrs. L begins with "There are instructions for you on the board". Immediately I think... "she's testing me to see how well I follow instructions" so I read through them and start to leave Scott a note on a purple sheet that the instructions said I would find on his desk. I'm thinking to myself... "Are other parents writing more loving notes than me? More supportive or encouraging words? Will Mrs. L be reviewing our notes?". GET A GRIP I tell myself (as I strain to see what others are writing!)

We dive into a Back-to-School packet that feels comparable to a Webster Dictionary! "How did she get a staple through this damn thing?", I'm wondering to myself! I'm scared!

* Forth Grade Criteria is covered. Pretty basic.
* The daily scheduled is outlined... so far so good.
* She goes over all the ways to contact her... phone, email, via the kid's planner (huh? planner?)
* Next are the classroom expectations. We're cool here. Scott really is a good kid.
* Sample pages of the planner (we have to buy in the office) are in our packet. Each subject has a place for the kids to jot down what was done that day, and any homework. There is a detailed LEGEND of codes the teacher uses to communicate with parents via the journal. We have to sign the bottom EVERY day. If you lose that legend, you're pretty much screwed!

[HERE'S WHERE IT STARTS TO GET TRICKY]

* Reward & Consequence System. There are no less than SIX systems in place for individual, team and class behavior with some running 1 week, 2 weeks and a month! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? I look around and tired mom's and dad's who probably just got off a 2 hour commute home from work, are starting to look panicked.

1. If they are "caught" doing something GOOD, they receive an Award Ticket. On Fridays she draws from all Award Tickets and the winner receives a drink from her frig for lunch.


2. If they are caught doing something BAD, they get a Card pulled. Number of remaining cards = coupons which can be used for a pass if their planner is forgotten, bathroom pass etc.


3. Kids who turn in all their homework and have their planner signed EVERY day for 2 weeks do a "fun activity". Those who miss a homework or planner, go to study hall instead. (Guess it's study hall for Scott... he's already forgot his planner once!)


4. Kids can earn Points when working as a team. The team with the most points in a week receive a "special reward".


5. As a class they can earn minutes for PAT Time (Preferred Activity Time). They start with 10 minutes and can lose or earn time.


6. The last one is NO ACTIVITIES LIST! Chelsea had that at Jr. High... these kids are 9! This one takes a series of incidents but the kids would lose out on all the good stuff... computers, music, parties, assemblies etc.

BRUTAL! Tell me, how does she have time to TEACH when all this is being kept track of for 27 kids??

[MY HEAD IS SPINNING]

* Next we go over the homework. I KNEW this was going to put me over the edge. "Did anyone bring a beer to class?"

1. Reading; 30 mins. X 4 days a week with the date, book title, time read and parent's signature required. Journal is due on Thursdays. (Note: Journal is different than the planner)


2. Writing; 2-4 times a week (evidently it's a surprise which days!), responding to specific prompts as found in the homework journal. Once again... HUH? The date, topic, time spent writing and parent's signature is required (for every writing assignment). Journal is due on Thursdays.


3. Spelling, Vocabulary, Grammar & Language; 2-4 nights a week (again, a surprise which nights). Work is due the next day.


4. Math: A) Practice Book; 2-4 days week, due next day. B) Spiral Review; frequency and due dates vary. C) Problem Solving; Word problems sent home on Mondays, due on Fridays.


5. Monthly "At home" Projects; Assigned the beginning of the month, due the end.

I don't think my Outlook Calendar PLUS my cell phone scheduler PLUS my frig calendar could keep track of all those due-dates. She might as well throw in there "this is due every other Tuesday, but only if Mars is aligned with Jupiter and it's an even number day"!

[I SWEAR there were parents on the verge of crying, myself included, and she wasn't finished yet!]

* She firmly reminds those who haven't' turned in the new-year emergency paperwork to do so. (Thank God mine was in!)
* She continues on about needing volunteers to help in the classroom (no shit!). I have helped in Scott's class going back to Kindergarten off and on depending on my schedule, but I'm already thinkin' that I best get my ass in there regularly so I know what the hell is going on!

Almost every topic in the packet had a page where I and sometimes Scott, had to sign off (might as well have been in blood!) that we had completely read and understood the content.

I'm completely overwhelmed but remarkably, Scott seems to have the overall system under control. THANK GOODNESS SOMEONE DOES!